What do you think about me?
|What I think about me: stubborn yet compromisable, open to all possibilities - thus I'm simple but complicated, complicated but simple. And one more thing: I don't read mind.|
This was almost three year ago project, when I proposed Indonesia Mengajar (and was rejected). I'm so glad that I found Swivel, because this project was stuck after I finished its flash format in a year ago's Ramadhan. Actually it was just me too lazy to learn and execute the Action Script work on Flash to develop the video player format. I needed to make timeline on my motions, and the play/pause button as well, yet it was so hard to once again read some tutorial which include code and code. Moreover it was so not delicious. I realized I learn another form of code lately. So simply I just run away from the final touch.
Universe answer. Google led me to Swivel, the (so far) best swf converter into common video formats. Thus I can "air" this project in Youtube (fyi, Youtube doesn't care swf). I was so glad that I can't tell.. It was like the dream coming true, or whatever.. I'm just really grateful that this project done, I made it passionately, although the result is completely just so so.
This very first idea was from Apple +Syahrina. I wondered why Indonesia Mengajar didn't take me as Pengajar Muda; the reason they refused my essay (now I know); why they didn't like my background (now I guess I know), since I'd failed twice simply at first round (administration). I remind you that I'm a narcist subject (just like I did in my previous posts). So I thought that I, with all of those qualities I had (huekcuih), should deserve to be Pengajar Muda. Apple (seemed) agreed (really?), and she floored the idea of making kind of testimonial things (perhaps she meant for portfolio, but I took it as something like this, wkwk). She targeted video, something to represent me more than I usually did, something that in her opinion "will show them the real me". I had no idea about promoting my own self, so I agree 110% (blahblah). I could only do flash. I contacted best friends, old friends, new friends, blah blah blah, those who knew me (no lover included, nor was ex-lover). So it was indeed kind of my self-ego towards Indonesia Mengajar. But absolutely I failed to finish it on time, and Indonesia Mengajar never got this video, fortunately.
The reason I still worked on it was because I thought it'd be good if I finish it for the testimony contributors, for my friends out there, to remind them the words they defined for me, to recall the moment when they picked the right metaphor of me, to drift their feeling back into the night when they pictured me. For me, what they did is definitely a treasure. And this is for them. Thank you very much for the words.. :')